Thanksgiving with a Twist

Today is a day when people tend to spend some time in reflection.  We are encouraged to be thankful and to think on the things that life has blessed us with.  Being the introspective person that I am, I have done so as well over the past couple days.  And like most others, I am grateful for the blessings of family, friends, basic needs, etc.  But as I dug a little deeper, there are some other things that I am thankful for, one in particular, that don't typically surface on the traditional list.

I am thankful for the people who refuse(d) to accept me, because they have pushed me to accept myself.  I grew up feeling like I needed the approval and acceptance of others.  Being a person of multiple minorities, this was a difficult need to have.  Even within groups of people who should have embraced me, finding acceptance has been difficult to say the least.  For a long time, I tried to fit into other people's boxes of expectation, because I just wanted to be accepted.  This is a basic human need, and I fought myself hard to find it.  Of course, that didn't really work, because the acceptance I got was based on a presentation rather than the actual me.  It probably wasn't until I had to deal with a desire to be accepted based on (or in spite of) my sexual orientation (not preference, because it is not a choice) that I really came to grips with the fact that this was not something that certain people would accept... but my life still had to continue.  The people who refused to accept me made me delve deeper.  I questioned and wrestled and prayed and cried, willing it to be another way, because I didn't want to lose those people or their positive opinion of me.  But just like being black and a female and 5'4, there was nothing I could do about liking women.  And once I accepted that it was part of myself, I realized that no matter who didn't accept it, I had.  I was (and am) the most important person in my sphere of acceptance.  There have been people with whom my relationship has been drastically altered since coming to this place of understanding, but if it wasn't for their opposition to who I am, I wouldn't have been motivated to seek my own authentic truth.  I can stand on my own two feet, and for that I am grateful...

So I am grateful for lost relationships, for rejection, for the consequences of choosing to be me rather than someone else's expectations.  Because just as they can live their lives as they feel they have been given, I can now do the same.  More than all the money in the world, the friends and family smiling in my face, the applause of the crowds, or anything else that seems nice on the surface, I am thankful that when I go to bed at night, I can be proud of who I am and live that truth every day.  Can you say that?