As we sit on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, staring into the seemingly endless expanse of that bluish gray aquatic blanket, I am grateful for the chance to finally sit still and reflect upon the flurry of this past few days....
When the Supreme Court decided not to decide, allowing gay marriage to become legal in Virginia, we felt that it was a sign to us that the original date we'd chosen - October 25 in proximity to our 2-year anniversary - was the one we should go with. [Little did I know, Brooke had been making plans to surprise me as an anniversary gift on that date before the news about the Supreme Court broke.] So we dusted off our plans, scaled them down, and pulled together what turned out to be a beautiful wedding... but I'm skipping ahead. We had chosen a park near our previous apartment (and near the restaurant where we met) that we'd come to on a few dates. We prayed that the weather would permit an outdoor ceremony and put our planning into full gear.
Even on a small scale with a guest list under 40 for a ceremony, there were numerous details to attend to, some of which were admittedly forgotten.... But among them where my outfit (found at K&G with the help of my newest friend), Brooke's outfit (3 ties and several stores later), invites (evites and verbal invitations about 2 weeks or less before the date), hair (done the day before and altered the day off - praise God for a million bobby pins), nails (never waited that long in a nail place, and it's only been about a decade since I even got a manicure), a broom (our little cinnamon struggle broom made by 2 less than craft-wise people with rainbow beads, some ribbon, and some Kente cloth), unity sand (finding appropriate pouring vessels, a receiving vessel, and measuring for size with a water fountain in Michael's), and so much more.....
Admittedly, there were some moments this past week when we wondered if we wanted to take that step... and I believe that's okay. It is a major life decision, and while we had been working toward it for a while, there is something about the impending reality that draws up all sorts of feelings. As is often said in the church, the toughest battle is usually right before the breakthrough/blessing. As with any soon-to-be married people, we both had our own nerves. Every so often, we'd think about it or be talking about it, and we'd just scream. It was an exciting and frightening reality that lay ahead.
But the time was quickly approaching. The night before, we had a joint bachelor(ette) party, and that was probably more fun than it should have been. And we spent our first night apart in almost 2 years, which was sorta strange. I may or may not have gotten a slightly inebriated phone call after I'd gone to Shannon and Chas' house to sleep while the party continued with her and her best friend. But it was me who needed the drink the next day as I was preparing. There was still a little running around to do that morning, and one such errand was Kroger for flowers. I wanted blue (wedding color) and purple (my favorite color), but those colors aren't always available in flowers. Yet, when I walked to the flower section, I saw the most beautiful blue orchids. After picking out a few flowers, I watched the lady put them together and a tear tickled my eye. For some reason, the assembling of the bouquet opened a level of realization that this day was real. The flowers being tied together were for a ceremony in which I would be permanently tied to Brooke.....
As I was getting my make-up done, it took everything inside me not to jump up and take a lap. My nerves were flying and the nervous energy was getting to me. Thankfully, my friend had an adorable little dog who I was able to pet and find some calm. When I finally put on my dress, I took a breath, thinking "this is the last dress I'll ever wear." Granted, that's not entirely true, but it's crazy the defining nature of that piece of clothing. Leaving the house, riding down the road, parking at the park, my mind was racing. I was excited and nervous and ready to go.
When there was a hold up at the park, I could have fallen out. By that point, I was just ready to get it done. I was ready to "be the bride" and take in all the attention (I'm not usually that girl, but hey, you only do it once). I was ready to meet my spouse-to-be and see her in her handsome glory. I was ready to proclaim before God and all assembled the love we share. So when it was finally time, I couldn't get the smile off my face. Chas walked me down the steps so I wouldn't fall. And when I saw Brooke's face, my heart was overjoyed. I knew that all of it was worth it and that I had made the right decision on the person to spend my life with.
My dear friend Dotty who I asked to open the ceremony in song - bless her heart - forgot the words when I appeared. She later told me that she was mad at me for being so beautiful and not warning her. But she sounded beautiful nonetheless. While I think I remember much of what was said in the ceremony, it is still something of a blur. Words like "your love saved me," "ribbon in the sky," "truthiness," "loveyness," "in sickness and in health," "put a drink on your tab," "if I ain't got you," "I promise," and many more encompass the emotional firestorm of that brief ceremony. I was overwhelmed, and though my tears didn't fall as freely as Brooke's did, my eyes watered and my heart fluttered. By the time we jumped the broom... I was spent, but in a good way. Then to see all the people who had come together to share our love....
You couldn't have asked for a better day. The weather was gorgeous, especially for a late October afternoon. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the breeze was subtle, the sun shone brightly, and most of the people who mean the most to me were there. Even my dad, who I have had some issues with over the past 2 years regarding my relationship, was there.
But to take the cake.... Brooke and I stayed behind with Jaime, the photographer, to take some pictures. Suddenly a tour bus pulls up, and to our surprise, it is a tour bus from the Gay Community Center of Richmond. They were doing an LGBT history tour for Richmond, and we ended up being part of the tour. They cheered and took pictures with us. What an amazing affirmation of what we had just done. Following that, we had dinner with some of our guests at Bottoms Up.
Once it was all said and done, we were exhausted but happy. I can't tell you what it means that I have been blessed to take this step with such a wonderful woman. And I'm certainly very appreciative of those who showed their support in person, on facebook, via text, etc, because not everyone will. I look forward to many wonderful years of love, growth, and laughter.
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